For most of this decade, I've been playing role-playing games off and on with a small group of friends. I took a break from it for the last four months or so because I was feeling a little burned out on it, not putting as much attention to it and not getting as much enjoyment from it. Partly it's because of the way we play--you can't just show up and play, because RPGs are not board games. You need to have prepared, by studying your character, the rules, and the setting, so that when it comes your time, you are able to state your character's action with authority. And we've been fairly unforgiving, kicking people out of the group if they never made any attempt to actually crack the rule book open.

Unfortunately, I still didn't prepare enough for tonight's game, in the Deadlands Reloaded setting of Savage Worlds. I spent about two hours creating my character and making sure I understood the rules for the abilities I had selected for him, but I failed to review the setting so was unsure of the situation I was adding my character to, and then forgot that my character really needed to stay away from the center of action. In the final climactic scene, I ended up rushing forward too soon and, several unlucky dice rolls later, was dead on the table.

The good thing about losing a character that you had only just created is that I hadn't invested much into him--figuring out how he spoke, what motivated him, and creating a lot of experience and back story. Compared to the D&D game that we spent nearly two years on and which my character was the only original survivor (albeit, much changed), tonight's death was minimal and unaffecting. Still, as things go, dieing in your first game back in action takes some of the fun out of the whole thing. I'm not sure that I'm ready for a weekly game, unless I can somehow energize my interest in the game.