"So, when are you going to have kids..."
La Di Da provides a link to some wonderful advice from a columnist for childfree couples with clueless friends and acquaintances. My favorite: "My husband would look dejected and say, 'Well, you see, there was this accident at the factory. . . .' People would immediately apologize." The others are nearly as good.
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» So When Are You Going to Have Kids? from Doc's Blog ... Confessions of a Game Addict
Heh. That little question used to be one Hell of an irritant for me. I never knew how to answer it. "We're trying, really. Wanna watch?" But that didn't work for Grandma, so we usually just dodged the question. I've... Read More
My favorite was probably:
"I don't know. When are you going to have manners?"
Or maybe:
"If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on my cat."
A friend of mine says that for years whenever the topic would come up, he and his wife (childfree by choice) would say very little and just look at each other sadly. Eventually people stopped bugging them, I think.
The thing is, though, I don't mind being asked once in an "are you planning" fashion. But the "When" is too presumptuous. And pestering me to do so is really beyond the pale. There are a few people who say: "But you and S would be great parents." I'm now at the point where I say: "We know! We think we would too, but we don't want to be; it would deprive of our nieces of our great aunt-and-uncle-ness" Or something like that. Heehee.
Maybe I should say: "We know we'd be great parents, there's just no guarantee we'd get a great kid." Ha!
I used to get this question. At my age, I don't get asked any more, although the following exchange from a couple of years ago might be instructive:
Q: Do you have any kids?
Me: No.
Q: Really? Why not?
Me (somewhat huffily and with slightly teary eyes): Well, it certainly wasn't for lack of trying!
This questioner had the grace to look embarrassed. Frankly, people foolish and thoughtless enough to ask this question deserve whatever they get.
The worst comment I received was, when I informed a co-worker (whom I only casually knew) that we did not plan to have children, he responded with "But you're the type of people who should have children." I recall that I was quick enough to ask him specifically what "type" of person should have children, which he was unable to answer... apparently political correctness finally caught up with him.
Re: j's post
We, too, were told that "We were just the type of people who should have children" until we answered "But every one of them we trap seems to die off on us"
You could also use "Do you have a good recipe for them?"